I am hot, for it is summer. I'm tired by holiday standards, for the past two nights have seen me not getting much sleep thanks to the friendly neighbourhood unspayed tomcat making his caterwauling rounds. I am satisfied, but strangely hungry, after a delicious (large) Turkish lunch with cousins, niece and cousin-in-law.
What do I wish for in 2009? Rest, for one. Not sleep, rest. Also known as the absence of striving. More good food enjoyed with good people. And all manner of other nice things listed over the course of this year in my not-for-public-viewing journal.
Have a good one!
Friday, December 19, 2008
While I was reading this earlier tonight, I thought of the many people I know (including me) who've had their hearts run through the blender and are still waiting for that happily ever after.
I thought of you, relocating yourself halfway around the world to be near her only to find that she wasn't prepared to do the same for you.
I thought of you, resolutely staying in the marriage even though it's been years of continual grinding pressure on your nerves and there's no tangible sign that things will ever improve.
I thought of you, bravely floating your boats and saying good-bye to dreams because you know it's for the best.
I thought of you, willing to love even when it isn't fun, wondering if it's going to work out this time.
I thought of you, with your many regrets over things said and done too soon, too late, too wrong.
And in my thinking, I said a prayer for each of us. That love would make its presence known in our lives. Strong love. Courageous love. Protective, trusting, hoping, persevering love that steadfastly builds us into the people we were made to be. That the pain of the past would bring us wisdom. That we would be healed. That instead of complaining each time those splintering blades puree our hearts, we'd learn to keep them in a safer place.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
What could buy you a sight like that? I've never seen such a complete arc of a rainbow, let alone three! If you look closely, you'll see a faint second rainbow just beneath the clearest one. There's another one above it, a little further away.
I was in an indescribably dark place only a few days ago. It's hard to believe that the same girl who sometimes can't so much as say a word for the pain also pulls over while driving just so that she can photograph three rainbows. I am a person of contrasts, but one thing that never leaves me is the faith that things will be better.