Tired housemates, prime-time TV. Do not mix.

A, reacting to a Medium trailer on TV: Hey, she's gained so much weight.

B: You think?

A: Yeah, definitely.

B: Maybe she's trying to become a Large.

One day at the curry house

Two friends walked in to enjoy their weekly roti.

Unfortunately, the owner refused to serve the fluffy pastry with the traditional side dish of lentil stew. "I hate the stuff and am not having any of it under my roof."

"As long as I am the boss, there'll never be a dhal moment here."